I awoke this morning to the sound of rain outside my window. There was just enough light to see the trees with their newly sprouted buds swaying in the wind. A quick check on the time showed I had a few minutes before I had to rise and head out into the weather to exercise.
So I burrowed back under the covers and placed my hand on your hip, my nose close to your hair so I can breathe you in. I run my hand up your back and under the hairs at the back of your head and you make the contented sigh of someone who knows they get to stay in bed for another hour on this stormy dawn.
It feels so good to be close to you, to communicate in the early morning light by tender touch and silent affection, to have that certainty that you are my friend, lover, and life partner. It is nice to be reassured by our intimacy at the start of the day.
Of course, the problem is that I’m imagining you, and as I head out the door to log my training miles in the warming, but still cold and wet Vermont Spring, I wonder when I will meet you, or if I already have but we haven’t figured out yet that now, in this time and in this place, we are meant for each other. I have to go out of town on business today; maybe you will be on my plane, or maybe I looked into your eyes briefly as I was getting coffee today, or perhaps you drove past me as I was running, dripping with rain and sweat, or maybe you’re out there on Match or some other virtual meeting place.
Wherever you are, know that I am living as best and as fully as I can in the moment. You fill my dreams at night and, ever the optimist, I am on the lookout for you as I go through each day.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Spring at Last
I took today off from work to do a long workout, outside, in the glorious spring sunshine. I started at On the Rise Bakery in Richmond after fueling up on their coffee and treats. The air was crisp and cool, fresh in a way that makes it feel so good to take deep breaths and be thankful that the winter is coming to a close.
I rode toward Huntington and on the way noticed that all the trees have buds on them now, people are out raking and preparing their gardens for the growing season, and the countryside just seems to be waking up. My route followed rivers and streams, the water crystal clear and very cold, rushing along full with snow melt. I went past the Huntington Alpaca farm where all the animals look freshly sheared and happy, like me, to be out in the April sunshine catching a few rays. A Canadian Goose sitting on an island in a series of swampy tributaries honked at me. I think an older lady in a car did as well along Route 116.
I descended Route 17 going very fast and I can honestly say that I felt grateful to be outside and I had an overwhelming sense of being free……flying down the road, no longer confined by winter, not worried on this day about work, or money, or anything really.
I wish you could have been there. That was, perhaps, the only thing missing. I am ok with being alone, comfortable in my own skin. Nevertheless, I do spend a lot of time by myself and I often wish I had a special person with me to share things with, or perhaps to meet me later for tea to hear what I saw and felt during my day and tell me about hers. Is there anyone out there looking for that too?
I rode toward Huntington and on the way noticed that all the trees have buds on them now, people are out raking and preparing their gardens for the growing season, and the countryside just seems to be waking up. My route followed rivers and streams, the water crystal clear and very cold, rushing along full with snow melt. I went past the Huntington Alpaca farm where all the animals look freshly sheared and happy, like me, to be out in the April sunshine catching a few rays. A Canadian Goose sitting on an island in a series of swampy tributaries honked at me. I think an older lady in a car did as well along Route 116.
I descended Route 17 going very fast and I can honestly say that I felt grateful to be outside and I had an overwhelming sense of being free……flying down the road, no longer confined by winter, not worried on this day about work, or money, or anything really.
I wish you could have been there. That was, perhaps, the only thing missing. I am ok with being alone, comfortable in my own skin. Nevertheless, I do spend a lot of time by myself and I often wish I had a special person with me to share things with, or perhaps to meet me later for tea to hear what I saw and felt during my day and tell me about hers. Is there anyone out there looking for that too?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Tempranillo Anyone?
Today was Saturday, but after a morning workout I had to go into work. Around 2:00 I took a lunch break and stopped in at Fresh Market. There are two checkout counters in Fresh Market and while I was paying for my food, I noticed a couple in the other line buying a bottle of Tempranillo and a few other things.
There was nothing remarkable or unusual about this man and woman; they weren’t old or young, amazingly attractive or starkly plain, but they were smiling, holding hands, obviously enjoying the afternoon, the place, each other, and whatever they were going to do later that involved that wine. Seeing them and that bottle on the counter reminded me that I don’t spend my Saturdays or Sundays the way that couple was spending theirs.
I work and I exercise, I take care of my pets, occasionally I have a dinner party or get a drink with a friend after work. I manage my affairs and I make sure my daughters, away at college, are doing ok. I have a life, but it is not a life, not a way of passing the time, like that of the couple enjoying their Saturday afternoon. This is not to say that those two are happy, well off, have their health, or any of a million other measures, but in the moment I saw them, they were happy and they were together and they did have something in mind for that Tempranillo and for each other.
What I am looking for is to have plans for later that involve a good red wine, satisfying food, and the nearness of a gentle, soft, kind and beautiful woman who smiles at me as we leave the grocer, who dances with me even when the only music is the two of us breathing together, who talks with me and laughs hard when something is funny, who is good with roughing it on a 4x4 trip across Canada so we can dress up in our best and enjoy all the urban fun in faraway Vancouver, who dares me to try to outrun her on a summer morning workout or outsmart her on a winter night of Scrabble, and who accepts me for who I am and for who I am not.
That may seem like a lot, and in the short run it is......I'm willing to start with being friends, with getting to know one another, and with just having fun in the moment. But I have my eye on the future and I think I know what I want.....
There was nothing remarkable or unusual about this man and woman; they weren’t old or young, amazingly attractive or starkly plain, but they were smiling, holding hands, obviously enjoying the afternoon, the place, each other, and whatever they were going to do later that involved that wine. Seeing them and that bottle on the counter reminded me that I don’t spend my Saturdays or Sundays the way that couple was spending theirs.
I work and I exercise, I take care of my pets, occasionally I have a dinner party or get a drink with a friend after work. I manage my affairs and I make sure my daughters, away at college, are doing ok. I have a life, but it is not a life, not a way of passing the time, like that of the couple enjoying their Saturday afternoon. This is not to say that those two are happy, well off, have their health, or any of a million other measures, but in the moment I saw them, they were happy and they were together and they did have something in mind for that Tempranillo and for each other.
What I am looking for is to have plans for later that involve a good red wine, satisfying food, and the nearness of a gentle, soft, kind and beautiful woman who smiles at me as we leave the grocer, who dances with me even when the only music is the two of us breathing together, who talks with me and laughs hard when something is funny, who is good with roughing it on a 4x4 trip across Canada so we can dress up in our best and enjoy all the urban fun in faraway Vancouver, who dares me to try to outrun her on a summer morning workout or outsmart her on a winter night of Scrabble, and who accepts me for who I am and for who I am not.
That may seem like a lot, and in the short run it is......I'm willing to start with being friends, with getting to know one another, and with just having fun in the moment. But I have my eye on the future and I think I know what I want.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)