It has been a while since I've written, or at least it seems that way to me. This is probably because so much has happened recently and, while it hasn't been that many weeks from last post, to me it feels like a lifetime. There is a good news-bad news-silver lining aspect to the way life has unfolded lately.
The Muskoka 70.3 Half-Ironman race was held on September 9th in Huntsville, Ontario, Canada. I drove the 400 miles into Canada for one last attempt this season to qualify for a World Championship race. The thought was that this year's 70.3 World Championship was occurring on the same day in Las Vegas, therefore the fast guys would be there, allowing me slightly better odds of qualifying early for 2013. It was not the best executed race I've ever had, but I can report that I was successful in my qualification bid, taking 4th in my division. This is an important milestone for me and I was really happy to have finally punched that ticket.
A week later I marched down to a local tattoo studio and celebrated my Ironman Lake Placid experience with an M-dot tattoo just above my right ankle. I'm still feeling very proud of what I accomplished in Triathlon this season. It was a stretch year for me, meaning I set goals in December of 2011 that were clearly going be difficult to meet. I said I would never do an Ironman, but in 2012 I did; I also said I would never permanently mark my body with ink. However, I have scars from riding bikes, diving, rock climbing. Ironman Lake Placid left an indelible mark on my psyche and I am proud to show-off my tattoo memorializing what my mind and body went through in July.
Which brings me to the bad news. This past Monday there were layoffs at my work and I was affected. I have worked for General Dynamics for 8 years now; in general I didn't like working there, but I also believe I made some of the most important contributions of my career while working on counter-IED systems during Operation Iraqi Freedom. In any case, I am now out of work and facing a looming end to my income. This has implications for my self-esteem, where I live, what I eat, whether I can retain a triathlon coach, and my overall health and sense of well being. It has been a hard week and I thank all those who have had kind words for me during this transition. It has been interesting who has offered condolences, support, and advice.....and who have not.
I had dinner with a couple of friends on Thursday evening and they observed that I didn't seem in bad spirits. When I talked with my half-sister Teri as she was driving down the 101 in Los Angeles, she made a similar comment, pleased and surprised that I had my sense of humor and, if not glib, at least sounded positive and upbeat. Both encounters led to my trying to figure out why that might be so; the explanation, as is often the case, was staring me in right in the face.....I stopped going into work at GD this week. For months, maybe years, I have been getting up to go into work each day and I disliked both the place and the job. Often I felt saddled with a sense of failure and futility, but there was nothing I could do about it.
I may be broke sometime soon. I may be bankrupt not long after that. But at present that reality seems a small price to pay for having my life back; for being given this opportunity to reclaim control over what I do for work, how my time is spent, and what really matters to me in this world.
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