Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Just called to say hi

Having a partner in life can be an amazing and comforting experience, but like many things in life it is all too easy to take it for granted.  I recently went through a break-up, it happened suddenly and I didn't expect it.  When the end came it was drastic, immediate, and mystifying. 

Now, a month later, I am perhaps through the worst of the shock, hurt, and fear......I am begininng to settle into being alone again.  I miss many things about that relationship like falling asleep next to the person I love, going to yoga and reaching out to touch that person or meet their eye during class, or laughing together at something funny in everyday life.

Today I noticed that I missed the little bit of contact that we used to have each day while at our respective jobs.  This was an e-mail, a text, occasionally a phone call just to feel connected.  These weren't as frequent or as deep recently as I would have liked, but I still find that as my day goes on now I feel a certain emptiness at not having that connection anymore, knowing I won't see her at home tonight, won't get to talk to her about our days or greet her with a hug. 

It is that daily spark, that little tie to another person that I loved and shared life with that I miss the most.  I'm sure some day I'll have that friendship and closeness again, that I'll love again, but today, right now, my heart aches for that missing connection that was cut so cleanly a month ago today. 

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